2014 has really been a long year, ups and downs, challenges and what not.
So in 2014, my mum was discharged of TB which was really a great relief for me.
My results for Year 2 was pretty good i guess. The seven of us finally reunited. I met someone really special.
In the pursuit of happiness, you may have lost yourself to the wrong person , got your heart into pieces, dignity trampled by people who wasn’t even worth it and many tearful nights. But all these are lesson learnt in life. You can’t get up if you never fell to your knees before.
I am the lucky few ones, to be able to meet someone special and creating memories for us to remember. The past doesn’t seem as bad as it seems because the present/future is more important.
Thank you mr.quek, for being my sanctuary during the bad times and giving me so much to hold on to. For being my sun, moon and stars. With your big heart and the love of your family, blessed with many firsts and hopefully not the last.
Thank you my girls for standing by all these years. They say friendships that last 7 years will last a lifetime.
Glad this year is ending off with a good note, with many great meet-ups, reconciliation, my supportive girls and my loving boyfriend.
There are days that i doubt myself; my worth as girl.
But he picks me up and tells me .. “your big heart outweighs all the physical inadequacies”
for no one has ever looked beyond my insufficiency.
I must be truly lucky to have met someone like you.
“And if you feel the fading of the light,
And you’re too weak to carry on the fight,
And all your friends that you count on have disappeared,
I’ll be here, not gone, forever, holding on.”
once in a very long while, i meet someone as amazing as you.
| my sun, moon & stars.
“I will kill the spiders. I will share my fries with you when you’ve finished all yours and are still hungry. I won’t ever pop my collar. I will never be rude to your tummy- when i hear it growl and gurgle, I promise to bend down and reply respectfully. I will eat the mushrooms when we order the supreme pizza. I will kiss the papercuts. And the door-slammed finger. And the counter-bumped hip. I’ll try my hardest not to get annoyed when you whisper questions and comments during movies. I will be the big spoon. I will let you win at wrestling. Sometimes. Other times I will not. I will go faster. Harder. I will pull when you want. And tease you when you don’t. I will send you random texts and leave you silly gifts. Not always. Not on schedule. Just Whenever I want to. Whenever I think you need one. Or seven. I will check your tire pressure. And remind you to take your car in. I will hold your hand. I will love you. I will love you. I will love you.”
just to let you know i miss you like crazy.
“What was it like to love him? Asked Gratitude.
It was like being exhumed, I answered, and brought to life in a flash of brilliance.
What was it like to be loved in return? Asked Joy.
It was like being seen after a perpetual darkness, I replied. To be heard after a lifetime of silence.
What was it like to lose him? Asked Sorrow. There was a long pause before I responded:
It was like hearing every goodbye ever said to me—said all at once.”
― Lang Leav, Love & Misadventure
whatever pain i feel now, is just gonna be temporary.
down the road, everything will be just alright.
Hear me out,
There’s so much more to life than what you’re feeling now
And someday you’ll look back on all these days
And all this pain is gonna be invisible
What can I do when putting on a brave front is the only option I have.
Every song played is like a knife.
Stabbing every inch inside.
Yet I have to pretend that I’m fine.
I’m not your bloody hotline whom you in the middle in the night just to get your question answered.
You want an answer, go do it and you get it.
Stop asking me things that I don’t know how to answer.
I’m glad you bothered to even call when you’re in camp and share your thoughts with me. I’m happy really.
But have you ever realised that all these conversations was all about you? You didn’t even bothered to ask me how am I doing now, am I happy. No.
I know I’m not that sucha a fabulous friend. But please bear in mind I’m also human. I can’t possibly be your listening ear 24/7, 365 days. I have my tormenting issues too. Not your hardisk storing all your thoughts, it get full over time too. Then who’s gonna store mine.
I feel myself drowning in my thoughts.
I think about it, I cry.
And it doesn’t stop.
What exactly went wrong?
Wet pillows. Everynight. Every.